Be a Fearless Kid Again!

Remember when you were a little kid, and whenever you were afraid of anything you had a superhero to bail you out? Who can forget ýHave no fear, Underdog is here!ý What about if you had a bad dream? All you had to do was run into your parentsý room, and they would make everything scary go away.

Remember how long the days used to be when you were a kid? Remember how long summer vacation lasted? Do you remember how slowly the school year would go? First grade took forever. High school felt like an eternity. It seemed like every year was as long as a dog year.

Things are so easy in grammar school. You go to school. You come home. Then you do crazy things with your friends.

Did you ever take a box you got from the supermarket, draw some headlights and a license plate on it, and then go for the ride of your life in it down the stairs? Sometimes youýd make it all the way down, while other times you would land on your head.

Do you remember going skateboarding from the top of a hill with a leaf pile down below? You start down, you pick up speed, and then all of a sudden as youýre getting close to the bottom you decide it would be fun to jump into the leaf pile (sometimes missing it entirely)? Youýd get all bruised and a little bloody . . . then youýd do it again because you had no fear.

I remember as a kid go sledding (or sleigh riding as we called it) on those plastic blue sleds down this huge hill. Now in New York, whenever it snowed it would also always rain making the snow quite slick.

So one day I went sleigh riding with my brother and sister behind my house on Winged Foot Golf Course in Scarsdale. At the time, my brother was probably six years old, my sister was eight and I was thirteen. We got to the top of the hill, got on our plastic sleds, and then we all started down the hill.

Due to the icy conditions, we were all headed in different directions. I headed in the direction I was supposed to go because I weighed the most. My sister started doing continuous 360ýs down the hill, while my brother headed directly for the brook. My sister ended up about 25 yards from me, dizzy and confused.

My brother, meanwhile, was nowhere in site. So I headed to the brook, where I found my brother about 12 feet from his sled laying face down on the ice.

I thought I had killed my brother . . . and boy was my Mother going to be mad at me for that! Forgetting to take out the garbage was one thing, but killing your brother on a February day canýt be good.

I kept screaming his name ýLittle guy! Little guy!!ý Finally he lifted one side of his cheek off the ice. It was quite red. As I pulled him up, he looked at me with tears running down his cheeks and he said to me ýCan we do that again?ý

What happened to that fearless little kid in all of us?

Itýs already the end of January. Your New Yearýs goals are probably broken by now. A lot of you have emailed me about coaching. Some of you are going through with it. Some of you are using all sorts of excuses . . . from lack of money, lack of time, too busy with kids to whatever.

I learned a long, long time ago, though, that the number one excuse behind which people hide is fear. Everybody who contacts me about coaching can afford it. There are coaching programs for EVERY budget. This blog, however, is not about getting you to work with me. Thatýs your choice.

What this is about is the excuses you make to stay hidden behind your fears. Time is ticking by. The days are shorter. The months are shorter. You donýt have long summer vacations anymore. Weýre full of obligations. It seems like years go by in months, and all weýre doing is getting older . . . but sometimes not getting wiser.

Youýre an adult. So, really, what is going to change unless you acknowledge your fears? Nothing is going to change unless you do something about them.

Learning the skill of meeting people is no different than losing weight. Iým sure youýve tried miracle diets that promise instant results, but in the end you end up putting all the weight back on. There are NO shortcuts . . . and itýs time you admit that you canýt do this alone.

Itýs funny. Have you ever seen the movie ýDefending Your life,ý where the lead character played by Albert Brooks finally realizes his life lesson was that he was cheap with himself? Whatýs the point of making money unless you can invest it in the most important thing ý yourself.

As kids, we are fearless. As adults, we live behind our fears. The difference is that as adults, we have the means to work with people to help us eliminate our fears.

We spend money on clothes, expensive vacation and cars ý all external things. So you can afford to go to the Bahamas for a week, but when you get there and see a woman (or man) to whom youýre attracted you are still the same fearful person you are at home.

Nothing will change unless you start changing things about yourself. Fear is the number one reason and the number one excuse why people donýt try something new.

I get this question all the time from people: ýWhat if I work with you, you coach me, and it doesnýt work?ý My response is always the same: ýWith that attitude, we might as well not try.ý I tell people this because I know that my coaching and my products work . . . as long as the person makes the commitment to themselves and are willing to become that fearless child again.

Think back in your life. What was your sleigh riding moment as a kid? How did you feel being totally fearless?

Now think about your current social life and what youýre not accomplishing. Think about your fears and excuses. How would you rather be?

Would you rather be an adult having fun like a fearless kid, or would you rather hide behind your fears and not connect with the people you most desire. When was the last time you did something fearless without expecting a result?

If youýre a man, when was the last time you approached a woman to whom youýre most attracted in a natural way without worrying about the outcome, i.e., without worrying about whether or not that person was interested in you? When was the last time you just enjoyed the moment without the drunken scared monkey in your head trying to out think the whole interaction?

If youýre a woman, when is the last time you fearlessly approached a man? When is the last time you flirted and had fun without caring whether he likes you or not?

The point of life is not to make money, buy material things, live in a great house . . . and to be lonely. The point of life is to create amazing connections and memories.

I have worked with a lot of lonely wealthy people. Their fears are no different than people who arenýt wealthy. Their loneliness is no different. Their excuses are no different.

Money does not buy happiness. The only thing that buys happiness is having no fear and being able to connect with someone. Men and women both have the same goal: to meet a member of the opposite sex, to fall in love, and to find someone with whom to share memories.

The only thing preventing men and women from getting together are the fears that each of them have. Itýs time you eliminate those fears and self-doubts, and live like the fearless five year-old who has a gusto for life and embraces life as a new journey.

Thatýs how I live my life every day. Thatýs what I teach when I coach and in all my products. If you want to go sleigh riding with me, Iým here.

http://www.davidwygant.com

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